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Percy Pollweather

  It is hard to believe that young Percy Pollweather is only fourteen years old and despite his somewhat sombre demeanour he is often heard to spurt forth pearls of wisdom and the occasional witty retort. For it was in English class at school that Percy first found his voice, thanks almost exclusively to Mrs Box his unusual English teacher and her running commentaries on such things as the fun of the pun, the tautological slip, and the marvel of the tickle in the tale. Percy and many of his chums loved the freedom found in her English classes where even the most reserved of child seemed to come to life and join in the perpetual party of mucking about...

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Porteus Pieboy

Porteus Pieboy was born with the rhythm coursing through his spidery veins, with legs and arms a jumping and hands a twitching to some secret tune all his own. His parents, both tone deaf, had no idea what they had given birth to and tried everything in their power to discourage their whooping and hollering son from turning their home into a musical madhouse Tins, pots and pans, cutlery, broomsticks and the fire poker all became instruments of syncopation of the short and the not so short, of the suspended and the prolonged, and of the tempo, rubato, rallentando, andante and adagio. Of the whole musical gamut at the ripe old age of seven. Poor young Porteus, wrong family, wrong...

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Hilda Van Blonkers

  Hilda van Blonkers tried ever so hard to fit in as a young girl at school, but could never hide her oversizedness, for she was well over six foot, in the old measure, at the ripe old age of seven, and continued to shoot up and out reaching well over six foot six when she moved into the senior school at twelve. The upside to Hilda’s extraordinary growth spurts was that she passed herself off as much older than she was and often when visiting neighbouring villages and towns found herself sneaking into the most grown up of places and events. What this meant to Hilda, unlike her peers, was the opportunity to flourish under such social freedom and...

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Svetlana Fast-footed New Hollander

  No-one can tell Svetlana who or how she got her name, for she was found sprawled between the rusted-out cattle trough and an oversized termite mound with her hair all a tither and her beak on backwards. She had been struck by lightning during the most calamitous of storms and there she lay for four long days. Her saviour, if we could call him that, was old Branko with the fullest of beards and not one hair on top who spoke only five words of the queens’ English – tis good, tis no good, and to him Svetlana - she no so good. Yet Branko, with his golden heart and pockets full of the dust of fools, swept poor...

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Archie Chihuahua

Archie Chihuahua has enjoyed a big life, despite his somewhat diminutive size. For Archie somehow always knew that his life would be full of surprises, so many surprises and twists and turns that it would probably be enough to make his mother’s hair curl. Oddly enough Archie’s mother already had masses of curls as anyone who knows anything about Puli’s can attest. Archie’s mother was Hungarian and, as oddity may have it, she raised and tended Mangalica pigs, those wonderful hirsute creatures who prefer the company of people and their indoor comforts than their own pens and porcine kinfolk. Some would say that because of such a confusing upbringing that Archie didn’t stand a chance, yet surprisingly he did, for...

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